


From First to Last

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Gratsu [13]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Character Death, Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:57:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: From their very first to the very last, Natsu’s kisses had always been one of Gray’s favourite things about their relationship, and each one from the lightest peck on the cheek to the deepest, most passionate kiss was burned into his memory.





	From First to Last

_From their very first to the very last, Natsu’s kisses had always been one of Gray’s favourite things about their relationship, and each one from the lightest peck on the cheek to the deepest, most passionate kiss was burned into his memory._

****

   Their first kiss had been nothing like either of them had expected or imagined in the safety of their own thoughts. They had managed to bumble their way through a confused, overly awkward confession a few months before, but neither of them had been confident enough to move beyond holding hands and the odd peck on the cheek and work had meant that they’d had little time to work on their relationship. However, all that had changed with Galuna island. They’d managed to come through the job mostly in one piece, although the Ice mage had felt like his emotions had been raked over the coals and yet as the islanders began to celebrate the destruction of the Moon drip and the revelation that they weren’t cursed, he found that his thoughts weren’t lingering on Ur and Deliora or even Lyon like he had expected. Instead he had found them focusing on a certain flame-brained idiot who had scared him half to death not long before, when he’d faced down the demon without the slightest hint of hesitation.

   Unable to settle his thoughts or calm the molten pool of anger that was rising in his stomach, the Ice mage had grabbed Natsu and dragged him away from the party, ignoring the Dragon-slayer’s protests that he had been eating and that he wanted to stay at the party. Thankfully Natsu seemed to have picked up on his grim mood, because he fell silent after a couple of minutes and allowed the Ice mage to manhandle him into the tent that they had been given to share.

“You idiot,” Gray snarled as he shoved the Fire mage up against the back of the tent, uncaring of the revelry they could hear outside or the fact that anyone could walk past and here him, his fingers digging into Natsu’s arms hard enough to bruise although the other teen made no effort to push him away. “I thought I was going to lose you! Why didn’t you try to move?” He’d never thought that it was possible for him to fear Deliora more than he had been as a child who had just seen not one, but two families destroyed by the demon, but seeing that giant fist shooting towards Natsu had shown him wrong he was. He couldn’t stop the shudder that went through him as the scene flashed through his mind once more, Natsu standing tall and unafraid, seemingly unaware of what losing him would do to Gray. Unable to drive the image out or bear the distance between them, he released his death grip on Natsu’s arms in favour of wrapping his arms around the Fire mage, tugging him into a bone-crushing hug instead, his voice wavering as he demanded. “Why didn’t you move?”

“If I’d moved, you would have done something stupid,” Natsu whispered in response, letting his head drop down against Gray’s shoulders as his arms crept around the Ice mage, returning the hug albeit less forcefully. Although he had hidden it well behind a bright smile and by getting involved in the celebration, the sight of his mate standing there about to cast a spell that would have used up his life force was haunting him too, and his hands tightened in the material of Gray’s shirt. “I thought I was going to lose you too.”

   Gray blinked at the shaky whisper, remembering Natsu’s words and actions back in the cavern. At the time he had thought that the Fire mage was merely angry with him, but now he could hear the pain and terror lingering in Natsu’s voice and he bit his lip. He had been so caught up in his anger over the risk that Natsu had taken, that he hadn’t stopped to think that his own actions could be seen in the same light and guilt pooled in the pit of his stomach. Worrying at his bottom lip, not quite sure what to say now he pulled back so that he could stare down at Natsu, stunned to find tears swimming in the wide, olive eyes that met his gaze. _Natsu_ …There was a dull ache in his chest as he realised that he was the one who’d put that expression on Natsu’s face, and he hesitated for a moment before leaning in, hovering a short distance away from Natsu’s lips.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, searching the Dragon-slayer’s face for any sign of objection, but finding nothing but dawning realisation and need, he swiftly closed the distance as he claimed Natsu’s lips. It was nothing like he had imagined, and nothing like what he heard Lucy and the other girls talking about the few times he’d let himself listen in. Instead it was clumsy and messy, fuelled by frustration that it had taken so long to get to this stage, grief over everything that had happened and fear at the thought they might have lost all this today. That they could have lost everything before they’d even had it. Yet at the same time it was perfect, and when they finally pulled apart they were both smiling, even with tears glistening in their eyes. “I promise, I won’t ever try to use that spell again,” Gray whispered as he stared down at Natsu.

“Thank you,” Natsu replied, voice just as soft, relief glistening in his eyes as he met Gray’s gaze without hesitation, although his words weren’t nearly as confident as he continued. “I…I can’t promise that I won’t step in front of you again, but I promise to be more careful.”

   Gray wanted to protest. He wanted to demand a promise that Natsu would never put himself at risk for his sake again, but he knew that he couldn’t, because if their situations were reversed he would willingly throw himself in front of the Dragon-slayer to keep him safe. Instead he nodded mutely in acceptance, eyes glistening as he moved back in to claim the Dragon-slayer’s lips once more. Their second kiss was slightly calmer than the first and spoke of promises and the future stretching out before them, and this time when they broke apart, the tears were gone leaving nothing but soft smiles in their wake.

“It’s a promise.”

****

_Natsu it transpired was oddly shy about public displays of affection, especially around the guild, and the Ice mage had discovered early on that the slightest gesture could trigger a blush that would rival Erza’s hair for colour. Therefore, their kisses in the guild hall consisted of tiny, playful ones to the cheek and forehead, or in Natsu’s case the end of the nose, as the Fire mage seemed to delight in seeing Gray scrunch his nose up after each one, but each kiss, no matter how small or brief was treasured by both._

****

   The next truly memorable kiss came in the wake of their battle with Phantom Lord. Once more they had found themselves pushed to their limit, but it had been worse this time because they had been separated, and Gray had been terrified when he had realised that the Fire mage wasn’t with the rest of the guild when the blinding light of Makarov’s spell had faded away. Ignoring all offers of help from his guildmates, and the danger that the collapsing robot posed he had rushed back inside in search of the Dragon-slayer. His terror was made worse by the fact that he was unable to shake the knowledge that Natsu had already been injured after fighting Totomaru, or what Erza had described of Natsu’s fight with Aria. His mate had already been exhausted and wounded before facing off against Gajeel, and no matter how much he wanted to trust Natsu’s strength, he couldn’t stop the fear that was slowly seeping through him.

_Natsu…_

“Gray!” He had just emerged at the top of the robot, where its head had once been when he heard the weak shout, the sound nearly lost in the wind. However, he had heard it and he immediately paused as he glanced around in search of its source and it took him a moment to spot the Fire mage who had manged to pull himself up so that he was leaning against a pile of rubble, although it looked like that might be the only thing holding him up.

“Natsu…” He breathed before rushing across to his mate, Natsu’s injuries coming into stark focus as he drew closer and he was trembling by the time he dropped down beside him, reaching out with a shaky hand to grasp Natsu’s as the Fire mage reached for him at the same time. “You’re alive, you’re okay…” Whilst Natsu was a mess, bloodied and bruised, weariness and pain written across his pale features he could tell that none of the wounds were life-threatening and he had witnessed Natsu’s ability to bounce back from injuries like this often enough to trust his assessment, and his lips managed to quirk up as he added. “You look like hell.”

   For a moment Natsu bristled at the insult, before he caught sight of the fear hidden beneath the humour and his expression softened as he squeezed the cool fingers wrapped around his hand.

“I’m alright,” he murmured when Gray met his gaze, and before Gray could respond or protest he had leaned up, pain flickering across his face at the movement but ignored in favour of crashing his lips against Gray’s. For a moment Gray tensed, unable to ignore that pained expression, but the warmth and strength of the kiss were irresistible, and he felt himself melting into it. However, it didn’t stop him from gently guiding Natsu backwards so that he was supported by the wall once more as he felt the Fire mage swaying slightly, slowly taking control of the kiss as he tried to convey his relief that Natsu was safe as well as the depth of his feelings for the idiot.

_Thank you for keeping your promise…_

**

_Shortly after the events with Phantom Lord, Sorcerer’s Weekly had run a feature on the eligible bachelors in Fairy Tail, unaware that they were together, and Gray suddenly found himself having to defend his claim on the ‘Salamander.’ Much to Natsu’s embarrassment Gray had taken to kissing him boldly on the lips out in the open whenever someone showed a little too much interest in the Fire mage, and Gray savoured each of those kisses, because not once did the blushing teen ever try to escape from them and so they became badges of pride. Badges that stated to the world that Natsu was his._

****

   The Tower of Heaven had pushed them all to their limits and beyond, and for a time Gray had found himself more focused on Erza than his boyfriend. It was something that he knew that Natsu would understand, and to be honest the Dragon-slayer probably shared that view. However, that knowledge didn’t make it any easier for him to soothe his guilty conscience as he sat beside Natsu’s bed waiting for the Dragon-slayer to wake up. It had terrified him when Natsu had collapsed on the beach after they had manged to track the pair down after the tower had exploded, and the fact that the Fire mage hadn’t stirred in the slightest over the past three days had his nerves shot to hell. Once again it had been Natsu that had saved the day, and whilst Gray couldn’t regret the fact that they had won and that Erza had been freed from her past, he wished that it hadn’t fallen on his mate to save their asses yet again.

“Hurry up and wake up Flamebrain,” He muttered as he reached out to brush his fingers through bed-mussed hair, watching hopefully for some sign that Natsu had heard his words or felt his touch. However, it seemed that Natsu was determined to be as stubborn as normal as he continued to snore contentedly, although he at least had colour slowly reappearing in his face, and the Ice mage sighed as he ran a finger lightly over one of the bruises that was in full bloom now against the pale skin. “I need to know you’re alright.”

   Leaning back in his seat, his gaze drifted to the book that Lucy had left on the bedside table after her turn at sitting with Natsu, and his eyebrows rose as he realised that it was a book of fairy tales remembering that she had said that she had been reading the Fire mage stories. Had she really been reading those to him? Then again it was possible that Natsu had never heard them before, as they had long since learned that many things they took for granted as part of childhood were things that Natsu had missed out on whilst being raised by a Dragon. It was that thought which had him hesitantly reaching out to pick up the book, flicking through to the page that she had marked, his lips curling up into a mischievous smirk despite his worry as he realised that she had been on sleeping beauty. His gaze lingered on the words for a minute, before he set the book aside once more and rose to his feet, he knew it was a stupid idea, but he couldn’t resist.

   For a moment he just studied the Dragon-slayer’s face, gaze lingering on the bandages for a moment, before he sighed and leant in to press his lips to Natsu’s. It was a gentle kiss, barely lasting a minute before he pulled back to stare at Natsu once more, unable to quell the hope in his heart even though he knew that it was a foolish notion. It was those doubts that nearly made him miss the faint shift in the Dragon-slayer’s expression and he was in the process of turning away with the intention of reclaiming his seat when olive eyes slowly eased open, and he froze as Natsu’s voice, raspy with sleep rang out.

“I’m not a princess…”

_You came back to me…_

****

_Following the Battle of Fairy Tail, Natsu had become more confident about them kissing in public, arguing that it was hidden feelings that had nearly torn their guild apart when Gray asked what had brought on the change. After that the Ice mage had taken every possible chance to kiss the Dragon-slayer, wanting there to be no doubt about he felt about Natsu, and relishing the feelings that the Natsu always showed him in response._

****

   Terror unlike anything he’d ever known had gripped Gray when he realised that there was no sign of Natsu when they’d regrouped, his hands beginning to tremble when he turned to stare up at the ruined remains of Nirvana towering above them, aware that no one could have survived inside it. _Natsu where the hell are you?_ He hadn’t liked the fact that they’d been forced to split up to deal with the lacrimas, even if it had been the only way, because he’d known without a doubt that the flame-brained idiot would’ve made sure that he was the one to face Zero. However, the fact that Nirvana had clearly been stopped had lulled those worries, and he’d thought that as soon as they were out it would all be over, and that it wouldn’t be long before he was able to have Natsu in his arms, reassuring himself that his mate was alright. _So, why wasn’t he out here with the rest of them_?

_Natsu where are you?_

   It was Happy’s startled cry that alerted him to movement behind him, and he whirled just in time to see the earth beneath the cat rocketing skywards, and for a moment he tensed as he spotted the two strangers that emerged. Then his eyes landed on Natsu, and he forgot about everything else. _He’s safe_ …Relief was flooding him as his eyes ran over his mate, realising that he was battered and bruised as though he had been through one hell of a fight, but that he was alive and conscious, wiggling to free himself from the mage that was holding him. It wasn’t enough just to see it though and forgetting about their usual rule of keeping public displays of affection to a minimum on jobs he rushed across to the Fire mage, slamming into him before Natsu had really had a chance to regain his feet, wrapping his arms around him to keep them back on the feet or at least that was what he was going to argue if Natsu protested the affection.

“Natsu…” He whispered, hugging the Dragon-slayer tightly for a moment before pulling back and seizing Natsu’s cheeks with desperate hands as he drew him into a heated kiss. For a moment it seemed as though Natsu was going to try to pull away, apparently aware enough of their surroundings to realise that they were now the centre of attention, and Gray couldn’t stop himself from letting out a low whine of protest at the movement. Immediately Natsu paused, and barely a second later warm arms crept around the Ice mage, pulling him close and he finally felt Natsu responding to the kiss, warmth engulfing him completely and slowly burning away the lingering terror. He didn’t protest when they broke apart a couple of minutes later, although he wouldn’t let his mate do more than lean back, Natsu blushing brightly even as he murmured softly. “I’m right here…”

_I know, thank you for coming back to me._

****

_Helping Daphne had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done and from the moment he had embarked on that plan he had feared that this would be the thing that would break them apart. It had made him falter more than once, yet he’d had complete faith in Natsu’s strength, believing without a doubt that there was no way Natsu would lose to this. But it had been far closer than he’d ever thought possible. and when he finally came face to face with the Fire mage afterwards he had braced himself for the fallout. Instead he had found himself swept into a storm of kisses, and it was only afterwards that he realised that Natsu wasn’t angry in the slightest. Instead the Fire mage had been terrified that he might have accidently hurt Gray if Daphne had won, and it had been that moment when the Ice mage had realised that he had more faith in Natsu, than the Dragon-slayer had in himself and he had sworn to change that._

****

   Edolas had been a disturbing experience, not least because their counterparts hadn’t been together in any shape or form, and it had scared Gray to think that if things had been even slightly different they might not have ended up together. However, the thing that made him even more uneasy and nervous was the return of their Lisanna. He was happy to see her of course, after all he had mourned her death along with the rest of the guild and seen what the pain of that loss had done to Natsu. Yet he couldn’t help but feel that her return might be a threat, especially as he saw how Natsu was reacting to her return. It had been a while since he had seen the Dragon-slayer so outrageously happy, and it stung to realise that he wasn’t the cause of it.

   However, he had forgotten just how observant the youngest Take-over mage could be, especially when it came to Natsu and about an hour into the celebrations she had dragged them both into a corner and shoved them together.

“So, you two finally got together?” She asked when they’d caught their balance, and they’d both gaped at her in surprise, blushing when she had broken down in giggles at the sight of them. It took her a couple of minutes to calm herself, and in that time Gray had recovered enough to edge across and wrap a possessive arm around the Dragon-slayer. It sounded like she knew about them, about what Natsu had come to mean to him, but he still wanted to make sure, and he blinked as she smirked knowingly at him as she caught the gesture. “I always thought you would be good for each other, both here and in Edolas, but the idiots over there couldn’t see it.”

“Lisanna…”

“I’m happy for you both,” she cut across Natsu with an earnest smile, darting in to press a teasing kiss to Natsu’s cheek, earning a possessive growl from Gray at the gesture and her attention shifted across to the Ice mage. “Treat him well. He’s still my best friend and I won’t let you hurt him,” she warned, taking on a more serious note for a moment and Gray nodded grimly in understanding. _As if I could ever hurt him,_ he thought but he knew now wasn’t the time to argue that point, although from the smile she gave him, Lisanna was fully aware of where his thoughts had gone. However, seemingly satisfied with his response she turned and bounced away to re-join her siblings, leaving the two of them staring after her in bafflement for a minute before Gray turned to look at Natsu.

“What was that about?” Natsu muttered, and Gray wanted to laugh at the confused pout that had appeared on the Dragon-slayer’s face, a weight lifted from his shoulders now that he knew that she wasn’t a threat. Still he couldn’t stop his gaze from lingering on the spot where she had kissed Natsu, and before he knew what he was doing he had moved to stand in front of Natsu, staring down at the shorter teen with dark eyes until the blush he had come to love appeared. Without hesitation he tilted his head and peppered butterfly kisses across the Dragon-slayer’s face, claiming every inch of skin as his own, before finishing with a gentle press of their lips, smirking at the dazed expression that had replaced the pout.

“She was giving us her blessing.”

_And acknowledging that you’re mine…_

****

_Neither of them had been happy that they had to compete against one another in the S-class trials, but neither had wanted to back down. After all it was a dream they both shared, one that they’d been striving for, for a long time and so in the end they had settled for wishing the other luck and praying that they wouldn’t have to face one another in the test. The final kiss they shared before boarding the ship in Hereon had been hard and desperate, both a gesture of good luck and a promise that no matter the outcome things between them wouldn’t change._

**

   The S-class trials had been nothing like they’d expected and whilst their wish to not have to fight one another had been granted, they almost wished that they had faced one another, rather than having to endure everything that had followed. Watching Natsu deliberately provoking Hades during their final fight to draw his fire had nearly broken Gray, and he had wanted to rage at the Fire mage. _What about our promise?_ However, there hadn’t even been time to really celebrate their victory over Grimoire heart, especially as Natsu had passed out after once again pushing himself too far, and once he’d finally woken up the Ice mage had barely had chance to scold him for his recklessness before Acnologia had appeared.

   Gray had thought that he’d experienced terror before, but it was nothing compared to the feelings the Dragon had invoked, and he had found it impossible to conceive that Natsu had been raised by a creature like that. Yet he couldn’t miss the longing in his mate’s eyes and voice as he demanded answers as to what had happened to the other Dragons, seeing the same emotions in Wendy and Gajeels’ faces. And despite the situation he’d longed for the opportunity to sweep Natsu into his arms and kiss away that pain, instead he had been forced to watch as their attacks failed. Forced to watch as Natsu realised that even his magic hadn’t been enough to stop the Dragon, and his heart had ached for the guilt in the olive eyes as they’d all began to realise they weren’t going to get out of this.

   But that wasn’t the Fairy Tail way. Even if they had little chance of succeeding, they couldn’t just give up and even as orders were barked for them to make a circle and send what magic they could to Freed and Levy in the hopes that they might survive, Gray pushed his way through to Natsu. Meeting in the middle they’d hugged quickly and silently, before sharing a desperate kiss, aware that it might be their last and trying to pour everything they were feeling into something that lasted barely a minute.

“I love you,” Natsu whispered as he pulled away, and Gray felt his heart ache as he glimpsed the tears shimmering in the olive eyes as they moved to take their place in the circle. _He’s saying goodbye…_ His own eyes began to sting as he as he grasped Juvia and Lucy’s hands, and as light surrounded them he looked across and met Natsu’s eyes, holding his gaze as the world disappeared around them.

_No, we’re going home together…_

****

_Seven years. They had lost seven years on Tenroujima, but at least they had been together. Neither of them could bear the thought of what might have happened if they hadn’t been trapped together, what could have happened if one of them had been left behind to continue as normal. Still they couldn’t shake the sense that precious time had been lost, and for the first few weeks after their return it felt like they couldn’t stay apart, their kisses alternating between tender and heated as they tried to make up for lost time._

****

   Gray had always known how good the Fire mage was at fighting, he’d even been the one that Natsu had honed his earliest skills against, and yet it felt like he was witnessing something completely different as he watched his Dragon-slayer fighting Sabertooth’s. He’d nearly had a heart attack when the idiot had sent Gajeel off goodness knows where right in the middle of the fight, and he dreaded to think how the Iron Dragon-slayer was going to respond when he returned. Although he had to admit that it was thrilling to watch his reckless mate fighting against the other two and holding his own even though he was outnumbered, although he had to shake his head at the idiotic grin that Natsu was wearing even as he stumbled back under the force of one of the punches. Only Natsu could have this much fun fighting.

   He knew that Natsu wasn’t even fighting all out yet, but he couldn’t stop his hand from trembling as he raised his hand in the traditional guild salute as they watched the battle rushing towards its conclusion. _Natsu, you can win this! You’re our hope…my hope…_ The minutes that followed as they waited for the lacrimas to come back online had been nerve-wracking, and it had only been Erza’s reassuring hand on his shoulder that had kept him in place, and it had been a battle not to collapse with relief when the smoke had cleared to reveal that Natsu was the last one standing. The Dragon-slayer had looked a little shell-shocked for a moment, before a bright grin had spread across his face, and Gray had felt a matching one appearing on his even as resigned himself to having to deal with a hyperactive mate that evening.

   Still he was the first one to greet Natsu in the tunnel, and Laxus and Erza had quickly left them to it after congratulating Natsu on his win, and the Ice mage had wasted no time in wrapping the Dragon-slayer up in a celebratory hug.

“You did it!”

“Of course,” Natsu feigned offence even as he returned the hug, the bright grin not fading in the slightest as he tilted his head up to meet Gray’s gaze. “Did you really doubt me?”

“Of course not,” Gray retorted reaching up to bop the Dragon-slayer on the nose, chuckling as Natsu wrinkled his nose up in response, before adding in slightly sterner tone. “I knew you would win. I could just have done without the heart attacks you were giving me with some of those stunts…”

“Sorry…”

“No, you’re not,” Gray grumbled as he caught the unrepentant look on Natsu’s face, not that he could really blame the Dragon-slayer. Catching the smug smile that flickered across his mate’s face he leant in and kissed Natsu hard, a smirk of his own forming as he caught the startled squeak that escaped the Fire mage. Deepening the kiss, he pressed the smaller mage back against the wall, trying to show just how relieved he was that Natsu was alright, and how proud he was of him for winning, and Natsu looked distinctly ruffled and dazed when they pulled apart and Gray smirked down at him. “Come on, I’m sure the others want to celebrate too.”

_We’re going to win this…_

**

   Natsu had taken control of their kisses for a time after the Grand Magic Games, constantly needing reassurance that the Ice mage was still there…still alive…after hearing what had happened during the battle against the Mini-Dragons. Not that Gray had minded…needing the reassurance himself after realising that Natsu yet again had been in the centre of everything. Each kiss a reminder of what they could have lost...

****

   Gray felt numb as he came up behind the sobbing Dragon-slayer, his gaze fixated on the huge Dragon laying just beyond them. _Igneel…_ He was still reeling from the fact that he had lost his own father for a second time, but even now wrapped up in his own grief he couldn’t ignore his mate’s pain. Silver had died years ago, and Gray had spent a long time dealing with that grief and whilst it hurt to have seen him again and fought him, only to lose him all over again, it was a different kind of pain to what Natsu was experiencing. Natsu had only just found his father after spending years fighting against disbelief and dead-ends, just to have him stolen away in the same night, and the Ice mage was terrified that he might not be able to bring the Fire mage back from that. Gently he patted Happy on the forehead as he passed him, barely meeting the Exceed’s gaze before moving to Natsu’s side and crouching down beside him.

“G-Gray…?” Natsu’s voice cracked as he glanced up at Gray, affording an Ice mage a brief glimpse of the tears cascading down pale cheeks and the pain in the olive eyes. _Natsu_ …Silently he settled beside Natsu before wrapping his arms around the Dragon-slayer, gently tugging him across until Natsu was resting in his lap, unsurprised when Natsu promptly twisted around and buried his face against his shoulder, heaving sobs beginning to wrack his body.

   Tears trickled down Gray’s face as he gently rocked his mate back and forth, and he was no longer sure who he was crying for. His father? Natsu’s? Himself or his mate? Perhaps all of them. All he knew was that everything hurt right now, and part of him wished that he could just fall apart as well, but as he glanced down at the pink hair tickling his chin he knew that he couldn’t. He knew this pain, Natsu didn’t, and he doubted that the Fire mage would let anyone else close at the moment, and he tightened his hold at that thought.

_I’m here…_

   It seemed to take forever for them both to cry themselves out, and Gray knew that they had barely scratched the surface of their grief as they slumped against each other in exhaustion. It was another few minutes before the Fire mage slowly lifted his head to peer up at Gray, his eyes red rimmed and sore, his face a mess of tear tracks and the Ice mage couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to brush them away, wishing it was as easy to erase their pain.

“It h-hurts,” Natsu whimpered.

“I know…” Gray replied, leaning his head against Natsu’s and hesitating for a moment before continuing in a soft voice. “But Natsu, it will get better eventually and I’m still here.” He knew that the words wouldn’t mean anything to the Fire mage now, as it had taken him a long time to be able to realise the truth of those same words after the loss of his village, but he knew from experience that Natsu needed to be reminded that he wasn’t alone. Natsu stared at him for a long moment, olive eyes dull, and Gray was just beginning to think that he hadn’t heard him when the Fire mage finally blinked and nodded slightly. However, he was caught off guard when Natsu leant up and kissed him, and he was about to pull away when he realised there was no heat to it. It was just Natsu seeking comfort and reassurance, and there was no way he could deny him that, and his vision blurred slightly as he realised that he needed it as well, returning the kiss gently.

_We’re both still here…_

****

_A year apart had made no difference to their feelings, and they had melded together as perfectly as ever when they stole away from the others on the first evening they were reunited, and for Gray the sensation of being engulfed by Natsu’s warmth was a confirmation that he was going home. Reassuring him, reassuring both that that nothing had changed between them, even whilst everything else had._

****

   Their final kiss had come in the wake of their victory. Only it had felt like anything but a victory as they sat in the shattered remains if the guildhall, the Dragon-slayer sprawled limply in Gray’s lap, his eyes closed briefly as he tried to conserve the last bit of his strength, both bloodied from the battle. Yet Gray couldn’t feel the pain of his injuries, instead he was being consumed by what Natsu had just whispered to him and the knowledge that even now his mate was slipping away from him and that there was nothing he could do to stop it. That his actions and the guilds were the reason this was happening, even if they hadn’t known what their final plan was going to result in, and he felt tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks. _We were supposed to have won, we should be celebrating right now…not facing this…_

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry,” he whispered, voice cracking and breaking in the middle.

“Don’t apologise,” Natsu whispered, forcing his eyes open so that he could gaze up at Gray, a pained expression crossing his face as he took in the tears trickling down his mate’s cheeks. With far more effort than he cared to admit he managed to lift a shaking hand, fumbling slightly before managing to brush his fingers across Gray’s cheeks wiping away some of the tears, although they were promptly replaced by fresh ones and he sighed before adding softly. “I don’t mind it ending like this…”

“But…” _I don’t want it to end_ , Gray wanted to protest. He hadn’t wanted to believe it when Natsu had confessed everything about his ties to Zeref, the fact that he was the very demon that they had both been tasked to destroy, that they had both vowed to destroy, and yet at the same time he had known that there was no way the Dragon-slayer would lie about something like that. Just as there was no arguing against the visible evidence of the light slowly dimming in the olive eyes, the magic fading, stealing the warmth from the body that had always felt too hot to the Ice mage. Sniffling he leant down so that he could rest his forehead against Natsu’s, struggling not to react as he caught how strained the Fire mage’s breathing had become in the last couple of minutes, his voice shaking as he whispered. “I don’t want it to end…”

“You don’t h-hate me?” It had been one of Natsu’s greatest fears once he’d realised that Zeref had told him the truth, that Gray would hate him. It had been one of the reasons that he had remained silent about the link between them, even though he knew that it would mean that things would end like this. _Please don’t hate me_ …

   Gray blinked at the question, taking a moment to absorb the words, stunned that Natsu could ever think that he would be able to hate him. Even back when they had been nothing more than rivals he had never truly hated the Fire mage, and yet looking down at his mate he realised that Natsu really was afraid that he might hate him, and he swallowed hard. _Natsu, is this what you’ve been dealing with all by yourself these last few days?_ Fresh tears stung his eyes, blurring his vision for a moment as he mutely shook his head. There was no way he could ever hate Natsu. Had he known the truth he would have done everything in his power to find a way to stop Zeref without killing him. He would have broken his promise to his father. He would have done anything and everything in his power to protect Natsu from this fate, but that was no longer a choice he realised bitterly as he glanced across at the still figure sprawled on the far side of the ruins. They had won, Zeref was dead, and his forces finally defeated and yet at the same time they had lost completely.

“G-Gray?”

   His heart ached as he realised how faint Natsu’s voice had become in the last few minutes, and that his silence was being misconstrued and his expression softened as he met the hazy olive eyes that were silently pleading for an answer _. Idiot_ … Gathering his courage as it dawned on him that they were running out of time, that Natsu was running out of time, he leant forward and gently pressed his lips to Natsu’s, ignoring the coppery taste that filled his mouth. Feeling the feathery touch of Natsu trying to respond, he smiled brokenly into the kiss, memories of happier times and happier kisses flickering through his mind and yet in this instance this was the only one that mattered.

_Our last kiss…_

    The mere thought of it broke his heart, and he choked back a sob as he reluctantly pulled back enough to peer down at Natsu, knowing that he needed to answer the Dragon-slayer’s question before it was too late.

“I could never hate you!” He whispered fiercely, making sure not to look away from the olive eyes even though he wasn’t even sure if the Dragon-slayer could see him properly anymore, but needing Natsu to hear those words and believe them before it was too late. “Natsu…I…” His voice choked in his throat, his vision blurring with tears as he gripped the Dragon-slayer tighter, and when he finally managed to blink enough tears away to be able to see once more, he felt himself shattering as he stared down into Natsu’s still face, realising that in those wasted seconds Natsu’s eyes had drifted shut. “Natsu? Natsu?! NATSU!” Desperately he shook the Dragon-slayer, trying to get some sort of response, needing to at least finish his words and it took a few minutes for it to fully dawn on him that it was too late…that Natsu…his Natsu was gone.

   There was no holding back the wail that rose in his throat as he pulled the still figure against his chest, burying his face in the crook of Natsu’s neck, uncaring of the fact that he was getting covered in his mate’s blood. Harsh sobs tore at him as he clung to Natsu, completely unaware of the sound of voices approaching them as grief consumed him. _Natsu…Natsu…please come back…please come back to me,_ he pleaded silently as he shifted his head just enough to be able to press his lips against Natsu’s cheek, shuddering as he realised that the other teen’s skin was cooling rapidly. _Natsu..._

   It was only when gentle hands came to rest on his shoulder, trying to ease them apart that he realised they were no longer alone, and he snarled through his sobs, fighting against them and refusing to relinquish his hold on Natsu. Didn’t they realise that he couldn’t let him go? That releasing him would mean admitting that he was gone, that this was over. That it would mean facing up to the fact they had succeeded in killing not only Zeref, but their own nakama…his mate. _I can’t face that. I don’t want to face that…I want Natsu back…_ Shaking his head desperately he buried his face against Natsu once more, filling his nose with the scent of warm cinnamon and campfires. _Natsu…_

   Yet the hands and voices were insistent, and deep down he realised that he had to face the truth. That he owed Natsu that much, and ever so slowly he pulled back, not paying any attention to his guildmates as he shifted the Dragon-slayer’s body so that he could stare down into the pale face once more. Ignoring his audience, he leant forward one last time, ghosting his lips over Natsu’s before whispering the words that he had run out of time to say.

“I love you…”


End file.
